Being a bystander means witnessing something happen—whether it’s a microaggression, subtle harassment, exclusion, or disrespect. But being an empathetic bystander means doing more than just observing. It means using empathy to guide your response in a way that supports the person affected and helps shift the workplace culture toward safety and respect.
Notice what you see
Often, subtle harm gets ignored because no one wants to “overreact.” But if something feels off, like someone being repeatedly interrupted, spoken down to, or left out, don’t brush it aside. Empathy begins with awareness. Pay attention to body language, tone, and patterns.
You don’t have to witness something extreme for it to be worth noticing. Small moments can carry big weight over time.
Respond with care, not judgment
When you choose to respond, lead with curiosity and care. You don’t have to confront anyone publicly or call them out harshly. Sometimes, it’s about checking in quietly:
“I saw what happened earlier, just wanted to let you know I’m here if you want to talk.”
The key is to centre the experience of the person affected.
Support in a way that feels safe and respectful
Being empathetic doesn’t always mean stepping in right away. Some people may not want immediate action or a public defence. Ask what they need, or offer a few options, like accompanying them to HR, helping draft an email, or being present for a conversation. Let them decide what support looks like.
Reflect and speak up when you can
If you’re in a position to raise concerns, do so in a respectful but clear way. You might say, “That comment felt inappropriate, can we take a step back?” You’re setting a boundary that makes the space safer for all.